by Helen Yaxley

I was recently Googling ‘bullying vicars’ because I felt that was an apt description of what I had been subjected to. In so doing I came across this blog which was extremely enlightening. It was then that I realised that this type of behaviour within the CofE might well be described as not unusual. Nevertheless, it is far from acceptable. I would like to share my experiences of dealing with the Church’s disciplinary processes, following which I was utterly frustrated and didn’t know where else to turn.

My experience is a long and distressing story, not involving any sort of sexual abuse, but with elements which perfectly illustrate the dysfunction of the Church’s hierarchy and inadequacy of its complaints’ procedures. This is a case where a vicar has made written allegations against me, including that I had been cautioned by the police. The allegations, which I knew to be false, were proven to be lies, with evidence gained from the Diocesan Safeguarding Officer and from the police. Gaining the evidence I felt was a totally humiliating procedure; I knew I was not a criminal. And yet, having obtained this proof of lying by a vicar, the Church was unwilling to do anything about it.

I originally approached this vicar by phone, with concerns about the actions of one of his congregation, his organist, which were causing me and my vulnerable elderly parents considerable distress. Neither my parents nor I were in his parish. I had never met him or spoken with him before. He is a vicar in the Ango-Catholic tradition. I had hoped the vicar could help in some way – perhaps through some sort of mediation. Despite not being a member of his parish, I expected that a member of the clergy would be impartial and would respect my confidence.

I could not have made a bigger mistake. As well as breaching my confidence, he was anything but impartial, strongly taking the side of his organist in the second telephone conversation I had with him. He was extremely dictatorial and downright rude and came across as a bully. He then, some time later, misrepresented the conversation in a written statement produced for a Court of Protection bundle, where he made clear that he knew the organist “in a personal way”. The vicar was not present at the court hearing, and there was no determination on his statement, but his personal attack on me in this statement caused me considerable distress, and continued to eat away at me. This character assassination of me had been written by a member of the clergy whom most people would expect to be truthful and caring.

After the court case, I wrote to the vicar, taking issue with his comments (in a civilised manner) and requesting a meeting. He declined. I spoke to a friend who is a vicar and who said that if I had concerns, I should approach the vicar’s Archdeacon. I did this, but the Archdeacon said that without a recording of the phone call, to determine exactly its contents, there was nothing she could do.

This issue continued to prey on my mind, not least that the hostile and bullying manner of this vicar did not accord with Christian principles. As I had never met him, I felt that if I did so it may help to resolve matters. I wrote to the Archbishop of York setting out some of the background and to see if he could facilitate a meeting, given that the Archdeacon seemed powerless.

In this letter I made reference to safeguarding matters concerning the organist in respect of my parents, simply as background information, explaining that this was not regarding abuse of anyone in the Church but that it lay behind the reason for my initially contacting the vicar.

When the Archbishop’s office replied, my request for a meeting was declined but the Archbishop’s Chaplain stated that she had passed safeguarding concerns to the Diocesan Safeguarding Officer. This was not something which I had requested, and surely as a general rule, it should not have been done without my being made aware and without gathering the relevant information. I wrote back immediately urging caution, but it was too late.

After further correspondence with the Archbishop’s office I was advised by the Archbishop’s Chaplain that my only course of action within the Church was to a raise a formal complaint against the vicar under the Clergy Discipline Measure (CDM). The highly formal procedure initially involved making an out-of-time application because of the amount of time that had elapsed since my initial contact with the vicar. I made the application, to which the vicar responded. In short, his written response addressed to the judge dealing with my application, was yet another character assassination of me including outrageous allegations. He seemed intent on bullying me into silence and portraying me as a worthless individual who had committed a criminal act.

In this statement the vicar wrote that I had made a safeguarding complaint against his organist (which I had not), I had been reported to the police for doing this, there had been a full investigation and I had been cautioned. He stated that I had been told that should I make any further complaints I would face the possibility of prosecution. I find this totally unbelievable. The implication of the statement is that the vicar believes that if a person makes a safeguarding complaint to a church official, and that complaint is investigated and does not find any wrongdoing, it is therefore a matter to report to the police and worthy of a caution and possible prosecution. I would have thought that a vicar would be conversant with the procedures around safeguarding. Quite clearly, no one would ever make a safeguarding complaint if they thought they may be cautioned and/or prosecuted for doing so. Be aware, I had not raised a complaint. (I approached the Diocesan Safeguarding Officer for clarification after the complaints procedure described below was completed. He made it abundantly clear to me that he had spoken to the vicar following the Archbishop’s Chaplain’s referral regarding the organist, but had not described me as a complainant, contrary to the vicar’s statement.)

My out-of-time application was approved enabling me to pursue my formal complaint against the vicar. The complaint took its course. It was dismissed, both initially by the Archbishop of York, and also on appeal to the responsible judge at Church House in London. However, the vicar’s response of blatant lies to my out-of-time application regarding safeguarding and the police was not considered as part of my complaint, according to the Diocesan Registrar who advises the Archbishop on legal matters. The Diocesan Registrar also made clear that it was not of sufficient substance to be considered under the CDM if it were to be raised subsequently. I was dumbfounded. Lying to a judge by a member of the clergy in a CDM process doesn’t even meet with a rebuke.

I, of course, knew that I had not even been spoken to by the police, let alone given a caution, but was advised by the Diocesan Safeguarding Officer in York to gain proof via Subject Access Requests from the police. I was more than happy to do this despite finding it totally humiliating. After waiting several months, because of police backlogs with Subject Access Requests, I discovered what I already knew – there had been no police investigation, I had not been cautioned nor informed of possible prosecution. I took this proof to the Archdeacon whom I had spoken with before. She listened sympathetically and agreed to put my request for a meeting with the vicar, suggesting it would be useful for a mediator to be present. I was very pleased that she was finally willing to intervene. Meeting the vicar face to face was something which I knew I would find helpful. It might at least have given him the opportunity to explain his motive and furthermore apologise. That, I felt, would have been the least he could do. I wanted him to see me as a human being and not a punchball. The following day I received an e-mail from the Archdeacon who had contacted the vicar and he had declined the meeting. She stated, “He does not feel that the meeting you suggested would be appropriate and so I’m afraid that there is no more that I can do in this situation.” I was amazed – talk about marking own homework! This I cannot imagine being the norm in any other organisation. It appeared again that the Archdeacon was powerless.

My final step was to write again to the Archbishop of York, setting out the evidence gained from the Diocesan Safeguarding Officer and from the police. This was met with a curt reply written by the Archbishop’s Chaplain stating that the Archbishop “could not get involved with or comment on a matter that has been fully considered and properly disposed of in both a CDM and subsequent review carried out by an independent judge”. As stated previously, it had not been dealt with. I felt I was up against further lies from the Church – this time at the highest level. The reply continued, informing me that the Archbishop’s Office would not be entering into further correspondence on the matter. This meant that the lies of the vicar had been compounded by a complete misrepresentation by the Archbishop’s Office regarding what had gone before and a clear attempt to sweep the whole thing under the carpet.

This saga, whilst clearly of a much lesser scale than the abuses recently exposed, still illustrates fault lines in the Church’s processes and hierarchy and in its attitude to safeguarding. In any other walk of life the telling of blatant lies in a written statement would at least attract censure from an appropriate individual in the organisation. In ignoring this behaviour, it is condoned and is a green light for the perpetrator to continue. Furthermore, had my initial contact with the Archdeacon been pursued (how often are telephone calls recorded?), or had the Archbishop acted appropriately when I initially approached him, CDM would have been unnecessary, and I would have been saved several years of heartache.